It worked! HUZZAH!
It worked! I was able to fix my broken touchscreen laptop using the replacement Passive Digitizer that came in the mail. Held my breath while starting up. Slowly reached out a trembling finger, ET-like, to touch the screen... and it works again! Pencilbox works! I can finally finish developing Pencilbox and make art with it!
One thing I didn't expect from this process: how much of the inside of a modern Fujitsu laptop is held together with tape. It's a thousand-dollar piece of hardware, you would think maybe it used a more solid construction method than a second-grader's construction paper valentine. But no. It's tape all the way.
Thanks to Sushu for plugging in one of the teeny tiny connectors that I kept fumbling with my fat chubby fingers.