A Spooky Pandemonium
Watched a movie called Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame yesterday. Wuxia movies do a lot of crazy stuff Hollywood would never think of in a million years, but even by those standards Detective Dee is a pretty weird movie.
Detective Dee himself is apparently based on a real person, as is the Empress Wu, Chinese history's only official female ruler. She lets Dee out of jail to send him to investigate a series of mysterious murders that might threaten her coronation. So far so good. But the murder weapon is that all the victims somehow spontaneously burst into flame when exposed to sunlight. OK, it's a kind of alchemy, I can suspend my disbelief on that for the sake of a good story. It's CSI: Tang Dynasty, with kung fu battles, I dig it. But then suddenly everybody starts taking orders from a talking deer who they call "The Chaplain", and at that point I'm like whaaaaaaaaat theeeee... what am I watching? When did this turn into a Narnia movie?
There's a bit where the detectives are going to look for a dude named "Donkey Wang" in a black market called the Phantom Bazaar which is built around an underground river beneath the city. One of the detectives, an axe-wielding albino martial-arts master named Donglai, warns them to be on their guard, and we get my new favorite piece of questionable translation as the English subtitles say:
"Watch out. The Phantom Bazaar is a spooky pandemonium".
A spooky pandemonium! I love it!
Anyway, if you like weird movies, it's quite entertaining. Check it out sometime.